Maximus

Howie, the Mustelidian Mind (MM) has just conjured up an image of that '60s/7os blonde hottie from Mission Impossible - Barbara Bain, I think, is the name. MM

Howie, Howie, Howie ...just be grateful you snared 15pts in Round 1. Not many get the Max outta the Factory. MM

An intriguing game of Test cricket. Congrats to Australia who absorbed all the pressure and applied themselves better than the Blackcaps. Again, NZ did not capitalise on multiple opportunities. Carey played a fantastic innings, deserved a ton and to hit the winning runs. Cummins is a fabulous captain, on and off the field. Southee had plenty of runs to 'play with' but didn't even give Ravindra or Mitchell a few overs; nor did he exert maximum pressure with fielders in catching positions when new batsmen walked in. Onwards and sideways, Blackcaps. MM

Max for the Factory Joker pse PJ (No need to be afraid, Craig LOL) R1 5,6 R2 9,10 R3 8,10 R4 2,3 R5 6,16 bb R6 9,11 R7 2,13 R8 3,8 R9 3,4 R10 8,10 bb MM

shhhite whos got the lipstick? Rees, you should know that lipstick is a standard production item at Max Factory. Available in 15 dazzlingly original colours, including Gull Guano (a pukish green). On special for a limited time. MM

Oi..Ozzie Ozzie Ozzie...get off yer tosh LB and do some work... MM

Max scr repl Flem r4 Repl #2 with #5

Max for the Factory R1 4,5 R2 5,9 R3 1,5 R4 1,99 R5 2,4 R6 4,7 bb R7 1,2 R8 1,2 R9 12,14 R10 1,7bb MM

Max thinks a 'loo at it' is a good description LB ...makes you wanna throw up watchin' this sickening display with the bat ..like Maxi said ..Kuggeleijn should never play Test cricket again. MM

Cant see it going beyond four days the way the Blackcaps are batting. Williamson is the only one with the patience and technique to fend off the Ozzies for very long - as shown by Ravindra's dreadful swipe at Hazlewood in the LAST OVER BEFORE LUNCH. I hope he is learning some harsh lessons quickly - ie there are much better bowlers than the S Africa D team at Bay Oval. Latham looked to be getting in the groove and the wicket should be ideal for batting by the time Smith and Labuschagne get in. MM

Hey Rees et al...this one should qualify in all respects..ie pre 1990s, fab lyrics and funny as a fight

this, and your previous post of Waterboys' The Whole of The Moon, are two of Maxi's all-time favourites. Both of them are poetry set to music. MM

Max is looking forward to seeing what Sears can fo with the new-ish red cherry. I do hope they don't play Kuggeleijn, but instinct tells me they will not drop hime after one Test. Neither he nor Nicholls would be in Maxi's squad. Dont think they'll drop Latham - his Test record is too good. Max reckons this is the 12 Stead will pick: Latham, Young, Williamson, Ravindra, Mitchell, Phillips, Blundell, Santner, Henry, Southee, Sears, Kuggeleijn. Apart from being a first-choice spin bowler, Santner can bat, has a Test century v England to his credit, and has a safe pair of hands. I'd be inclined to play him if there's any chance of Hagley taking turn, and SK can carry the drinks as punishment for having a 2nd-ball slog and getting out at the Basin. LOL

until a few days ago, Max had never bothered to investigate Taylor Swift for the nasty reasons listed above (ie 'crap etc)...but when you watch her perform live and take the time to listen to her best songs Max understands why she has become a global entertainment phenomenon. She can do it all, peeps, and does it without the vulgarity /crassness of many 'pop' stars. Max admires her talent and her style (but I'd still prefer to be with Sandie on a desert island). MM

oh well, we may as well transition form one Bonanza star's singin' to another ... what a voice, such clear, precise diction...and a classic Western story in song. Come on down, Lorne Green and tell us all the Ballad of a Gunfighter

Max is so worried about poor Rees he's decided to post something that should / must make him feel younger and happier and hopefuler and wanting to get down to THIS SICK BEAT

..and gorgeous Sandie felt that 'Puppet' was a god-awful song and she hated singing it ! Long Live Love was also (In Maxi's Opinion) equally dreadful, so to cheer poor old Rees up, Max is posting a much better, happier toon

..and gorgeous Sandie felt that 'Puppet' was a god-awful song and she hated singing it ! Long Live Love was also (In Maxi's Opinion) equally dreadful, so to cheer poor old Rees up, Max is posting a much better, happier toon

yes, mate, he did ....so come on down Pernell, baby and sing it again for ng 'n Max (oh and Maria, of course)

mebbe this one strikes a chord for you DS

If NZ win the toss again, they need to bat first, you just can't face a world class spinner like Lyon in the 4th innings on a wearing pitch Such a silly thing to say, Hesi-meister, revealing your ignorance of the game. Did you ever play? It's not a matter of whether or not NZ bats first - it's about whether or not we take our chances and apply ourselves to Test match conditions - the difference between white ball and red ball cricket is patience, shot selection, reading the pitch and understanding the opponents' tactics. As in racing the word IF is the biggest word in Test cricket. eg If Williamson at slip had taken the catch off Green ... Trouble I'm afraid is that there is clearly disunity in the camp...you can see it in the body language on the field. Time to turn the page on a few players' careers and let the younger guys flourish. MM

Well, thank the Lord that dismal performance by the Blackcaps today is over. So many appalling 'acts' in this tragedy of Shakespearean proportions. The Wagner debacle - which probably set the tone / attitude of a team divided. The Williamson runout The substandard 'catching'. The 10th-wicket partnership of over 100 runs. The meek/ lame / tame dismissals The terrible example of the captain with the bat. Don't tell me he wasn't picked for his batting; he was picked to LEAD the team and that means you don't throw your wicket away, esp when you have a 'set' batsman at the other end. Mavbe Tim just wants to end his career with the most sixes in Test cricket and knows he's running out of time. Max feels very sad for everyone who bought tickets to that 'sold-out' venue. Blackcaps played with no spine, no heart, no unity or teamwork and no respect for their fans. Max is angry - not by the loss - Australia is the current world champion side - but by the ATTITUDE. No one in the lower order (Kuggeleijn, Henry, Southee) applied themselves to 'play for Mitchell'. Just 'smack some runs if we can boys and let's take our toys home to Mummy after lunch. Oh and some golf tomorrow..) GRRRRRRRR '. Rant over.

Very disappointing first hour 130-6. I only hope we can score enough runs to get more than they did in the 2nd dig. Small consolation. Mitchell the only NZ batsman to face more than 100 balls in either innings of this Test He'll need to face 300 more but we dont deserve to win anyway, despite an excellent day yesterday. MM . MM

they will call for the culprits to be sued for environmental pollution, ng ..but mercifully no-one listens to the Greenies or Greta MM

The only way is up... up on the Dance Floor, PJ Moet Down or Up, makes no diff to The Mustelid on a Saturday nite. Password at Max Factory HQ tonite is: SOPHIE You're all welcome. Even Seagulls with bad habits LOL